Learn How to Communicate with Your Wife Today

How Do You Communicate With Your Wife Effectively?

Despite (or maybe because of) the mass exposure to constant communication we face everyday, we are being conditioned to “one-way” conversations.

Think about it for a second - Every email, every tweet, every text message, even every advertisement is “technically” a dialogue, yet you don’t ever get to physically “talk” to the person communicating with you.

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The greatest victim to the phenomenon of “virtual communication” is the ability to actively communicate from the heart. These days it seems that communicating effectively is a rarity - We are merely “waiting for our turn to talk” and there's not much in the way of true empathic listening; Little time is spent processing what the other person is saying.

The key to effective communication is becoming a master at “Active Listening”

How to Receive or Express Negative Feelings

A lot of times when you communicate with your spouse, you personalize every little thing she's saying...If she says something even remotely harsh, or something that doesn’t fit into “our reasoning”, we can easily get offended, upset and even angry.

We must understand that not everything is a personal attack, even if it seems that way to us. When you feel that burning rage start to boil up, just step back and ask yourself why you're really angry, and if you're handling it the best way possible.

Anger rarely brings true satisfaction!

The Right Way to Admit You're Sorry

Another common problem that us men have with Communication is a lot of times we can be at fault and still defend the error of our ways all the way to the grave. You are not perfect and you do not know everything, so become a bit more humble and accept that “you are not always right”.

It’s ok to be wrong because nobody is perfect. We are always constantly learning from our day to day interaction with the world, our family and our friends.

Of course, there's a difference between admitting you're wrong and desperately begging for your wife to come back...No matter what, always keep your dignity. Just make sure you take a look at the big picture before you explode.

It becomes a problem when you are wrong, and you know it yet still won’t admit to it. It could be pride or it could a low self esteem, but not being able to admit that you’re wrong, in essence, is only lying to yourself and making you out to be the fool.

Someone who is truly confidant, someone who is truly a leader, can admit when they're wrong without degrading their own esteem. It's all in your attitude.

Here's a really powerful tip to help you learn how to communicate with your wife effectively -

"You don't avoid blame by admitting that neither person is wrong, you avoid blame by admitting that both people are wrong because it's human nature to be wrong."

The Importance of Tone and Message in Couple's Communication

It is important that during a conversation you be careful that you're always saying precisely what you want to say, and that means being able to regulate your tone and your message.

It is more important to know “how to say things” as opposed to “what you are saying”. Obviously both points are important, but knowing how to get the message across is sometimes much more important than the actual words that you're saying.

Your Wife Should Be Your Best Friend

Do you have communication problems with your “buddies”?  Why not? Because you don’t care that you may hurt their feelings or that you may say the wrong thing, do you?

Why is that? Why is it different when communicating with your wife?

Most men separate the concept of “wife” from “friend” and develop different means of communication with either. Your wife should be your “best friend” and you should share experiences, worries, achievements and everything.

The best communication tip I can give you is to become her best friend and communication won't be a problem. I'm not saying you shouldn't have other guy friends, and I'm not saying you should break down and beg and plead with her to stay with you. I'm just saying that if you can say things to your friends, “Because you know them”, you can just as easily say them to your “best friend”.

Begin to cultivate a good “friendship” with your wife and you’ll see how your communication betters. Don't be afraid to discuss difficult topics, ask curious questions, get into an angry confrontation (but keep the gloves ON and always avoid blame), and I think your communication with your spouse will drastically improve.

Kindly,
- Jacob Elichmann

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