Current estimates state that between 40% and 50% of marriages will end in divorce… Think about that for a little bit, let that sink in. Clearly, we as a society are doing something wrong when it comes to marriage; divorce rates should not be that high.
“So, How Do I Get My Wife Back?”
With more broken marriages ending in divorce, there are also more marriage counselors, as well at as more divorce attorneys… Some people are certainly doing very well for themselves off of this tragic trend in marriage.
Recommended Reading - How to Love Your Wife Completely
Despite all that, it seems that when it comes down to brass tacks very few people actually know Jack Diddley about saving a relationship, or rebuilding lost love. In fact, I would wager to say that most people are wasting time pursuing ‘relationship building’ strategies that are not only pointless, but actively counter productive.
Get Your Wife Back By Doing the Opposite of Everyone Around You
It sounds almost too sad to be true, but it’s really come to the point where a safe rule of thumb to stop a divorce is to do the exact opposite of what everyone else is doing.
Everyone Says ‘Communication’ is the Key to Re-Igniting Your Marriage
As I believe I have already hinted at, this extremely common recommendation is actually based off of what would seem like solid logic.
This recommendation came about because of the assumption that a good marriage has good communication. This is a reasonable assumption, certainly, since most of the healthy and thriving marriages that I know of DO have very open communication between spouses.
However, just because open communication works well for a couple with a rocksolid foundation of love, trust and happiness doesn’t mean it will work equally well for you to repair a broken relationship with a shattered foundation of apathy, desperation and hopelessness.
Communication works differently when your wife has hardened her heart, and most people don’t realize that.
I mean think about it, it’s sort of like saying you should talk to a stranger the same way you would talk to your best friend, or that you should talk to your boss the same way you talk to your peers at work.
You can’t just talk to a woman who's already decided she's going to leave and just magically change her mind about something so based in emotion. You have to win her heart, and communication is NOT the key.
Everyone Says that Showing You Care is the Key to Getting Her Back
If you have ever been to marriage counseling then I am willing to bet that you have heard this one or something similar a couple times before.
This is a favorite of your average marriage counselor because it’s easy, sounds good, and sounds logical. If your wife feels loved, it’s only natural that she’ll love you back, right?
But as we’ve already learned, logic does not fix marriages, and this is one more example of a strategy that sounds good but won’t actually work with separation.
- Bringing your wife gifts won’t fix your marriage
- Telling your wife that you love her won’t fix your marriage
- Going on regular date nights won’t fix your marriage
- Making “intimacy time” for each other will fix your marriage
- Leaving her cute little notes won’t fix your marriage
- Acts of service won’t save your marriage
Why won’t any of these things work?
Why will they actively push your wife further away from you?
Because right now she views you as weak, smothering and boring, and until she FEELS differently about you (notice the keyword, ‘feels’) she’s not going to the receptive to any romantic gestures… Instead she will feel pressured, pushed and manipulated.
She will be able to see right through what you’re trying to do, and because she knows your end goal, her mind will throw up that defensive emotional wall that keeps her from wanting you back.
Everyone Says Lavishing Her is the Key to Saving Your Marriage
This one is probably more commonly heard from your buddies then from your marriage counselor… Many men are really and truly convinced that if they shower their wife with love and affection (and gifts) that she will change her mind and decide to stay with you.
However, for similar reasons that we’ve already listed – This will not work!
Even if lavishing your wife somehow did make a difference in your relationship, is that really how you want to fix your marriage…By essentially bribing your wife to stay with you? Do you really want to stay married to a woman who only loves you because you shower her with attention and give her everything she wants, and not because she actually loves you or wants to be with you?
Sounds too much like the psychological mind games that women use to subdue their husband’s if you ask me…In the end all you get is a relationship based on dishonesty.
Now I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t do nice things for your wife, I’m just saying that now is in the time or the place to make this your main goal. Your marriage will require a deeper change than that if you ever want to get your wife back after divorce or separation.
Throughout this article I’m sure you’ve heard all these tips at some point or another – Communicate with your wife, Soften her heart by showing you care, Lavish her with gifts and services – But I want you to realize that these WILL NOT SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!
Many other abandoned husbands have fallen for these same traps spread around by the marriage counseling industry…Luckily for you, you have me to tell you that these tips won’t do you any good.
Again, as I’ve stressed countless times before on HusbandHelpHaven, the key to saving your marriage and stopping a divorce dead in it’s tracks is…
How to Get Your Wife Back?
The Key is Attraction!
You must, must, MUST build attraction with your wife, and once you do that everything else will fall into place naturally. When your hardened wife FEELS that she wants you back, she will STOP second guessing your marriage and START second guessing her desire to leave.
If you’ve been waiting for how to get your wife back, this is it. Of course, you’re more than welcome to browse around on HusbandHelpHaven.com for some more free information, but I strongly encourage you give that page a read.
Either way you choose, I wish you the best of luck getting your wife back!
Editorial: This article, How to Get Your Wife Back, was originally posted on Husband Help Haven, and I encourage you to do some more reading over there if you have the time.
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