It's not your fault that your marriage is on the rocks, and only seems to be getting your worse.
It's not your fault that your wife is pulling a little further away from you each and every day.
It's not your fault that there's no chemistry left in your marriage and that your wife is ready to move on to greener pastures.
It's not you that has failed in saving your marriage, it's the people that have been telling you how to do it.
Related Post: Why You Can't Problem Solve Your Marriage
You see, the most common advice that desperate husbands receive when their marriage is on the rocks is something along the lines of "you need to be a better husband". The logical thought behind this is that if you're a good husband, then you will in turn have a wife that is good to you, too.
The Good Husband + The Good Wife = The Perfect Marriage
Pretty simple equation, right?
Unfortunately, this rarely works out to be the case. You and I both know that you ARE a good husband (well, most of you anyways...)! Trying harder to be a good husband isn't going to get you anywhere. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to marriage, the good guy rarely wins. I'd like you to keep reading below and tell me if any of this sounds familiar to you…This is the story of 'The Good Husband'.
The Tragic, But Too-Often-True, Story of
"The Good Husband"
Has your wife told you that she wants divorce? Let me guess, your first reaction was to tell her something along the lines of “No, I don't want a divorce, I believe we can work through this!”
Because that's what a good husband is supposed to do right? "The Good Husband" never wants divorce. This is logical, yes, but remember what I said earlier..."The Good Husband" never actually wins. When you tell your wife that you want to work on things and make the marriage better, you're not doing any good at all. You're just showing her that you don't know what to do, almost like you're asking her to stay...This is a bad idea.
Absolutely 0% of women respond to this.
Now, I'm not telling you that you should want to divorce your wife… After all, that's the whole point of this website! What I am telling you is that there's a better way to save your marriage than trying to brute force it into submission.
"The Good Husband" is Willing to Do Anything
This is a classic example of "The Good Husband" trying to get his wife back. He will tell her that he'll do anything to keep her from leaving. He will beg and plead for her to stay, repeatedly asking her what he can do to keep her around.
But guess what?
She leaves anyways.
Maybe not right away, but ALWAYS eventually.
Do you want to know why this is? It's because even though you think you're being the good husband, telling your wife that you'll do 'anything for her' is actually a turn off.
Sure, when things are peachy in your marriage it's a great thing to let your wife know you'll do anything for her, that your love is unconditional, but when she's already thinking about leaving, you will only make matters worse with this sentiment.
"The Good Husband" Won't Stop Working At it
Since "The Good Husband" is willing to do anything to save the marriage, he's also willing to keep trying and keep trying, no matter what.
"The Good Husband" lets his wife know that he's not going to quit on the marriage; he tells her that he'll try better communication, he'll be more present at home, he'll go to marriage counseling, he'll do WHATEVER (Even get down on his knees and beg), but after all that she still leaves anyways.
As the good husband, you probably tried each and every conventional approach to getting your wife to come back to you. You've looked at the problem from every logical angle and tried to fix any and anything you see wrong with the marriage, but it still doesn't work.
Why?
Because women don't fundamentally work on logic! So trying to use a logical approach to save your marriage isn't going to work.
It just isn't.
"The Good Husband" is Nothing Without Her
This is one last truth about "The Good Husband"… His wife knows that he is nothing without her. He's desperately dependent on her, hence his willingness to do anything to save the marriage.
Once again, because your wife knows this it actually makes things worse for you.
When your wife believes that you are nothing without her, she feels smothered, trapped and most of all, disgusted.
In Other Words, "The Good Husband" is Weak
This is what it really comes down to, and what I am going to try and hammer into your mind throughout both this website and my free report (sidebar to your right), The DOs & DONTs to Get Your Wife Back.
"The Good Husband" is weak - "The Good Husband" is not really a good husband at all because he doesn't know how to make his wife FEEL like she wants to stay in the marriage.
And that is the missing ingredient...Feeling.
If you can't make your wife FEEL like she wants to stay, she won't stay. Plain and simple.
It takes a strong man to attract a woman. "The Good Husband" is – NOT – a strong man, he is a weak one. Your wife knows it, you feel it, and because of it, you will not save your marriage. Something needs to change. Luckily, that's what Husband Help Haven is all about!
I hope you enjoyed reading, you're always welcome here =)
Kindly,
- Jacob Elichmann @ HusbandHelpHaven.com
Editorial: You can this post was republished from my Husband Help Blog. You should check it out, I regularly update it with new articles and guides.
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