How to End an Emotional Affair Permanently in 6 Steps

How to End an Emotional Affair Permanently in 6 Steps

Are you struggling with emotional affair recovery? Do you need to know how to end emotional affair?

As you continue reading this article, you're going to learn exactly what needs to happen to completely end an emotional affair. Rebuilding trust after an emotional affair is an extremely difficult task, but with a predetermined plan, specific goals, and some good old-fashioned elbow grease, your marriage can return to its former glory and beyond.

This article is specifically about the actions that the wayward wife needs to take in order to completely sever the extramarital relationship and undeniably show the steadfast and faithful husband that he is her first priority.

How to End an Emotional Affair in 6 Steps

None of these steps except the last one are optional. If your unfaithful wife cannot do these things for you, then something is wrong and emotional affair recovery is out of the picture. You will notice that the 6 steps here slightly correspond to the 6 steps in how to survive an emotional affair, which is for the betrayed husband.

At the same time, you need to be open to forgiveness. If you really want your marriage to move forward then you need a threshold over which you say "okay, I believe you and I love you, let's move on". In other words, your wife needs to prove to you that she's done with the emotional affair, but you also need to know .

Are we on the same page? Remember, these steps are for your wife, not for you.

Great! Let's get started:

Step 1. She Must Accept Responsibility, Even if Marriage Wasn't Perfect

The most common excuse for an emotional affair is "you never pay attention to me".

Conversely, the most common reason that women give for falling in love with another man is "he paid attention to me and he 'gets' me".

However, an unhealthy marriage is NOT an excuse to cheat. Furthermore, an emotional affair will CREATE distance in your marriage.

In other words, it's no coincidence that the spouse suddenly seems inattentive when there is another man being very attentive. It is literally impossible to have a healthy marriage while one spouse is in love with someone else.

If your marriage was so bad that your wife felt completely unloved and rejected, that is not a problem to solve through an affair. Instead, as with any problems in marriage, you bring it out into the open and address it for what it really is.

Your wife must admit that she was having an emotional affair, she must accept responsibility for it, and she should show remorse for what she's done to you.

Step 2. Sever the Relationship... Period

Once your wife has taken responsibility for her infidelity, the next step to end an emotional affair is a complete severance of the extramarital relationship.

It doesn't matter if it's an old high school friend she's had for 20 years that only recently turned into something more, or a coworker that she's only known for six months… The relationship is over. Period.

If your wife is unwilling to let go of the relationship, or if she wants to remain friends with the other man, then that is an unacceptable problem. If a "friend" is more important than recovering your marriage, then what is that supposed to tell you as the husband? It means she doesn't really want to end the emotional affair.

Your wife must be willing to sever the relationship completely if she is serious about ending the emotional affair. The next 2 steps will address how to do that.

Step 3. The No Contact Letter

A No Contact Letter is exactly what it sounds like… A hand written statement (important!) from your wife to the other man that the relationship is over.

This letter shouldn't be emotionally charged. It is a simple, firm statement that the relationship is over, that it will not begin again, that it has had an adverse effect on her relationship with you, and that her marriage is now her top priority.

Here is a fairly simple example that you should feel free to use:

No Contact Letter Examples

This step is very important both for you and for your wife. It should give you peace of mind that your wife is willing to do this, and it gives your wife the peace of mind and security that comes with letting go. Ideally, the No Contact Letter is the nail in the coffin of the emotional affair.

Step 4. Physically Get Away

Naturally, to permanently end an emotional affair, your wife needs to physically get away from the other man.

This could be as drastic as your whole family moving to the other side of town, or as simple as de-friending him on Facebook and deleting his number. It could mean that your wife needs to change positions at her job, or get a new job entirely. You might need to find a different church or a different group of friends.

It doesn't matter; she MUST cut him out of her life completely. Whatever it takes is consequence of the emotional affair.

There are two reasons that this is so important: (A) it will be very difficult for her to get over the emotional affair if she continues to be exposed to him, and (B) it will be nigh impossible for you to rebuild trust with your wife when you know she's still occasionally spending time with him.

If you've made it this far in the emotional affair recovery of your marriage, you're doing pretty well. If your wife has been willing and able to fulfill each of these steps, then the next two will be easy.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel… You're almost there!

Step 5. Accept Transparency (and Don't Lie About it)

Your wife needs to accept that you will require full transparency for the next few weeks to the next few months.

This means a few things. You need to be able to...

• Access her e-mail account


• Access her Facebook account


• Read through her text messages


• Listen in on phone conversations


• Monitor her whereabouts throughout the day

In situations where your wife has lied to you before, you may even require cell phone tracking to monitor her calls, text messages, and whereabouts. Or you might require computer key logging to monitor what she's doing online and who she's talking to.

Drastic? Yes.

Necessary? Yes.

Although not everybody needs to go to the full extent (i.e. cell phone and computer tracking).

Also keep in mind that it's likely that the other man will attempt to contact your wife, even after she's sent him a No Contact Letter. He will want to tell her that it's a mistake, that they weren't doing anything wrong, and that he misses her friendship. If he's a real douche, he might even tell her that you're being a bad husband by restricting her freedom!

She MUST tell you if this happens, and she MUST forcefully shut him down, or ignore him if possible.

If he persists and he is married, don't be afraid to contact his wife, although I would recommend reserving this for extreme cases.

Step 6. Consider Marriage Counseling (Optional)

It's no secret that I do not like marriage counseling. Far too many couples rely on marriage counseling as the default medicine for marriage problems.

Let me be clear: marriage counseling is only a good idea when...

• Both spouses truly desire a better marriage, but have a singular problem that is difficult to resolve.


• There is infidelity involved and you need a safe-place to say exactly what's on your mind and work through your trust issues.


• There are psychological problems inhibiting your marriage, such as bipolar disorder or anxiety. In this case, independent counseling is usually a better place to start.

So, if you are really struggling to get over the trust issues you have with your wife, marriage counseling may be a good place to address those. Independent counseling may also be helpful.

If you want a cheaper alternative to marriage counseling, I recommend this e-course on how to rebuild honesty and trust after infidelity.

Congratulations! Next Comes Forgiveness…

If you've made it this far, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. If your wife has been willing to learn how to end an emotional affair with you, the future of your marriage looks very bright. It means that your wife is genuinely dedicated to renewing your marriage.

Even though ending an emotional affair is difficult, I can tell you that every single couple that gets through it finds their marriage better than it's ever been. Seriously, every single couple I've ever heard about or personally interacted with has a better marriage when all's said and done, IF they can get through the emotional affair recovery.

So, look to the future! There is hope, and you can still find ultimate happiness in your marriage.

I highly recommend you read through the rest of Emotional Affairs 101, especially how to forgive an emotional affair. Forgiveness and severance are the one-two punch that will save your marriage.

I sincerely hope that you have found this guide on how to end an emotional affair helpful.

With much manly love,
– Jacob

Are you struggling with emotional affair recovery? Does your wayward spouse need to know how to and emotional affair?

If your trust has been shattered by emotional infidelity, you're probably wondering how your spouse can ever earn it back…

As you continue reading this article, you're going to learn exactly what your spouse can do to convincingly end an emotional affair. Rebuilding trust after an emotional affair is an extremely difficult task, but with a predetermined plan, specific goals, and some good old-fashioned elbow grease, your marriage can return to its former glory and beyond.

This article is specifically about the actions that the wayward wife needs to take in order to completely sever the extramarital relationship and undeniably show you, the faithful husband, that you're her first priority.

How to End an Emotional Affair in 6 Steps

None of these steps are optional. If your unfaithful wife cannot do these things for you, then something is wrong and emotional affair recovery is out of the picture.

At the same time, if you really want your marriage to move forward then you need a threshold over which you say "okay, I believe you and I love you, let's move on". In other words, your wife needs to prove to you that she's done with the emotional affair, but you also need to know .

Are we on the same page? Remember, these steps are for your wife, not for you.

Great! Let's get started:

Step 1. She Must Accept Responsibility, Even if Marriage Wasn't Perfect

The most common excuse for an emotional affair is "you never pay attention to me". Conversely, the most common reason that women give for falling in love with another man is "he paid attention to me and he 'gets' me".

However, an unhealthy marriage is NOT an excuse to cheat. Furthermore, an emotional affair will CREATE distance in your marriage.

In other words, it's no coincidence that your spouse suddenly seem inattentive when there is another man being very attentive. It is literally impossible to have a healthy marriage while one spouse is in love with someone else.

If your marriage was so bad that your wife felt completely unloved and rejected, that is not a problem to solve through an affair. Instead, as with any problems in marriage, you bring it out into the open and address it for what it really is.

Your wife must admit that she was having an emotional affair, she must accept responsibility for it, and she should show remorse for what she's done to you.

Step 2. Sever the Relationship... Period

Once your wife has taken responsibility for her infidelity, the next step to end an emotional affair is a complete severance of the extramarital relationship.

It doesn't matter if it's an old high school friend she's had for 20 years that only recently turned into something more, or a coworker that she's only known for six months… The relationship is over.

Period.

If your wife is unwilling to let go of the relationship, or if she wants to remain friends with the other man, then that is an unacceptable problem. If a "friend" is more important than recovering your marriage, then what is that supposed to tell you as the husband? It means she doesn't really want to end the emotional affair.

Your wife must be willing to sever the relationship completely if she is serious about ending the emotional affair. The next 2 steps will address how to do that.

Step 3. The No Contact Letter

A No Contact Letter is exactly what it sounds like… A hand written statement (important!) from your wife to the other man that the relationship is over.

This letter shouldn't be emotionally charged. It is a simple, firm statement that the relationship is over, that it will not begin again, that it has had an adverse effect on her relationship with you, and that her marriage is now her top priority.

Here is a fairly simple example that you should feel free to use:

This step is very important both for you and for your wife. It should give you peace of mind that your wife is willing to do this, and it gives your wife the peace of mind and security that comes with letting go. Ideally, the No Contact Letter is the nail in the coffin of the emotional affair.

Step 4. Physically Get Away

Naturally, to permanently end an emotional affair, your wife needs to physically get away from the other man.

This could be as drastic as your whole family moving to the other side of town, or as simple as de-friending him on Facebook and deleting his number. It could mean that your wife needs to change positions at her job, or get a new job entirely. You might need to find a different church or a different group of friends.

It doesn't matter; she MUST cut him out of her life completely. Whatever it takes is consequence of the emotional affair.

There are two reasons that this is so important: (A) it will be very difficult for her to get over the emotional affair if she continues to be exposed to him, and (B) it will be nigh impossible for you to rebuild trust with your wife when you know she's still occasionally spending time with him.

If you've made it this far in the emotional affair recovery of your marriage, you're doing pretty well. If your wife has been willing and able to fulfill each of these steps, then the next two will be easy.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel… You're almost there!

Step 5. Accept Transparency (and Don't Lie About it)

Your wife needs to accept that you will require full transparency for the next few weeks to the next few months.

This means a few things. You need to be able to...

• 
  

  Access her e-mail account

  
  


• 
  

  Access her Facebook account

  
  


• 
  

  Read through her text messages

  
  


• 
  

  Listen in on phone conversations

  
  


• 
  

  Monitor her whereabouts throughout the day

  
  

In situations where your wife has lied to you before, you may even require cell phone tracking to monitor her calls, text messages, and whereabouts. Or you might require computer key logging to monitor what she's doing online and who she's talking to.

Drastic? Yes.

Necessary? Yes.

Although not everybody needs to go to the full extent (i.e. cell phone and computer tracking).

Also keep in mind that it's likely that the other man will attempt to contact your wife, even after she's sent him a No Contact Letter. He will want to tell her that it's a mistake, that they weren't doing anything wrong, and that he misses her friendship. If he's a real douche, he might even tell her that you're being a bad husband by restricting her freedom!

She MUST tell you if this happens, and she MUST forcefully shut him down, or ignore him if possible.

If he persists and he is married, don't be afraid to contact his wife, although I would recommend reserving this for extreme cases.

Step 6. Consider Marriage Counseling (Optional)

It's no secret that I do not like marriage counseling. Far too many couples rely on marriage counseling as the default medicine for marriage problems.

Let me be clear: marriage counseling is only a good idea when...

• 
  

  Both spouses truly desire a better marriage, but have a singular problem that is difficult to resolve.

  
  


• 
  

  There is infidelity involved and you need a safe-place to say exactly what's on your mind and work through your trust issues.

  
  


• 
  

  There are psychological problems inhibiting your marriage, such as bipolar disorder or anxiety. In this case, independent counseling is usually a better place to start.

  
  

So, if you are really struggling to get over the trust issues you have with your wife, marriage counseling may be a good place to address those. Independent counseling may also be helpful.

If you want a cheaper alternative, I recommend this e-course on after infidelity.

Congratulations! Next Comes Forgiveness…

If you've made it this far, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. If your wife has been willing to learn how to end an emotional affair with you, the future of your marriage looks very bright. It means that your wife is genuinely dedicated to renewing your marriage.

Even though ending an emotional affair is difficult, I can tell you that every single couple that gets through it finds their marriage better than it's ever been. Seriously, every single couple I've ever heard about or personally interacted with has a better marriage when all's said and done, IF they can get through the emotional affair recovery.

So, look to the future! There is hope, and you can still find ultimate happiness in your marriage.

I highly recommend you read through the rest of Emotional Affairs 101, especially how to forgive an emotional affair. Forgiveness and severance are the one-two punch that will save your marriage.

I sincerely hope that you have found this guide on how to end an emotional affair helpful.

With much manly love,

– Jacob